


Radiators And Corkscrews

by ProfessorFlimflam



Category: Holby City
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fix It, What the Hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22360336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorFlimflam/pseuds/ProfessorFlimflam
Relationships: Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Radiators And Corkscrews

Serena’s night in the slammer, while hardly spent in Dickensian squalor, had been decidedly uncomfortable, and she was beyond relieved to hear the words “no further charges” as the cell was unlocked in the morning. Out she strode, head held high without a backwards glance at the slab of a bed with its thin mattress; the rough, itchy blanket, and certainly not at the stainless steel abomination that glowered menacingly opposite the bed.

She was reunited with her belongings by the same dour faced sergeant who had relieved her of them the previous day, and she looked every inch the duchess arrested for chaining herself to parliament railings as she stalked back to reception - where she staggered and very nearly fainted.

For there, sitting demurely on the plastic chair next to the desk, was Berenice Bloody Wolfe, hands folded across her knee, a smug look on her face and, oddly, a length of chain coiled on the seat next to her. Standing up she took Serena’s arm and sat her down.

“Are you here to bail me out? Did I die in the night?” Serena asked weakly. Taking both her hands, Bernie laughed, but not unkindly.

“Give it a moment, get your bearings. You’re alive and kicking, and so am I.” And she recounted her rescue from the rubble; the concussion that she later realised was a drugged stupor; the puzzling journey back to the UK under the tarpaulin of a lifeboat, and the months of captivity she had endured at the hands of her unhinged ex, Alex Dawson.

“I got my break yesterday, though - and so did she, quite literally. She’s probably clogging up someone’s A&E department somewhere, though I expect she’s still got just enough sense not to pick Holby City.”

Serena raised an an eyebrow. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? And yet...”

Serena gave the details of Alex’s whereabouts and condition to the desk sergeant, altogether friendlier than her colleague, and who had developed an almighty crush on Bernie while taking her statement and cutting her free of the chain that had still dragged from her ankle when she came in. 

“What I wouldn’t give for ten minutes in an empty room with that woman,” Serena said grimly, and Sergeant Foxwell leaned forward conspiratorially. Having read Serena’s file, she had to admit to a spot of grudging admiration, and now that she could see that these two were some sort of lesbian supercouple, she thought she would do almost anything to aid their cause.

“Ten minutes?” She said. “How about twenty...” and she accidentally filed Bernie’s statement at the bottom of the pile of paperwork on her desk.

Bernie looked at Serena curiously, thrilled at the look of vengeful mischief on her face. “And what are you going to do in twenty minutes in an empty room, exactly?”

“I’ve got just the thing,” Serena said with a wink. “Wouldn’t it be _awful_ if someone diagnosed her with compartment syndrome while we were locked in? Sadly though, I don’t carry anaesthetic with me, so I’m afraid she’s going to find it ever so slightly uncomfortable.”

And she opened her handbag just enough for Bernie to catch a glimpse of the ever present corkscrew.

Bernie looked at her wide eyed. “You wouldn’t... Ah - no, I see you would. I’ll be right there with you,” she began, but Sergeant Foxwell coughed politely.

“You’ll be right there in the squad vehicle with me in the car park, watching the clock for me. There’s only so much of a blind eye I can turn. Come on ladies, my shift’s done - where to, then, guvnors?”

Serena and Bernie looked at each other with matching wicked grins, and spoke as one.

“Holby City - and then home.”


End file.
